Collected Aphorisms

Written between 2016-2017

1. If it is not broken…it probably will be soon: all good things come to an end.

2. Contrary to Hollywood, passionate love is found in the mundane, the non-sexy: somewhere Kierkegaard is still whimpering in the wind.

3. Products are sold via advertisement, ideas through entertainment: a cultural confusion.

4. Retreat into fiction sometimes is the only solace–my fate in the hands of one author; one, perhaps, more sane than myself.

5. PSA: future college textbooks to include words such ‘twerk, dab, and selfie-stick.” No you cannot purchase a previous edition. Yes they will still cost an arm and a leg: progressive education.

6. The tyrant and martyr are one in essence and only differ in degree, not quality: one turns power outward, the latter inward.

7. As it stands, I am a dreamer—But one must remember thus: dreams only become a reality in the darkness of night.

8. Lack of self-awareness is what leads the pigs to run headlong off the cliff: such it is whenever one speaks of Facebook in public.

9. The ancient Greek maxim “Know Thyself” is poignantly no longer relevant to our culture. To my chagrin, it has been replaced by the much more suitable “Know Thy Selfie.”

10. The most vexing noise when one is annoyed with the world: the sound of laughter.

11. We simply cannot look strangers dead in the eye: the remnants of Adam’s transgression.

12. Even the basest of human beings is a talented multi-tasker; for not just yesterday did I see a man breathing and walking simultaneously.

13. The cynic and the Christian, the Schopenhauer and the Saint are equal in all respects save one: the former lacks compassion.

14. It is easy to “love everyone” in abstraction, much harder to do so in reality. And thus it is our depravity: inescapable, unavoidable, inexcusable.

16. The mark of a true Christian man: a forgiving heart.

17. New York, the city of irony.

18. A needle in the haystack: the man who exercises patience in a culture of instant gratification.


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